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How to make the hardest changes in life for exponential successThe hardest changes to make in your life do not require physical
exertion. They require mind shifts which are much harder to accept and
effect. Until this point in life, you may have believed that saying
"Sorry, I was wrong. I made a mistake" is the hardest thing to do in
life. I have news for you. Admitting your mistakes is a walk in the park
compared to what you will have discovered after reading this article.
Here are the hardest things to do in life, and how you can do them.
1. Be yourself don't default to follow your peer group,
mentors, or your family figures but strike out on your own and
consciously carve out your future. You first have to discover that you
are on a unique path before you can fully realize the importance of
being yourself. Learn from the people that you admire, and then apply
their teachings and advice to move along your own path.
It is hard to strike out on your own against the advice of your family
and mentors, but you need to do it if you are going to blaze new trails
and lead your tribe. We all want to be like other people even when we
realize that what they are doing is not what we should be doing. Take
heart you will find satisfaction on the trail when you look back are
realize that the trail you blazed helps others who can now follow your
trail.
The starting point for new trails is for you to be yourself and not
allow your fears to dampen your instincts. Step up, and do what you are
called to do. You will find a sense of peace after you have overcome the
initial fear of stepping out of the crowd and support from people that
you never expected would support you.
2. Accept it when you need to work harder. We all believe that we
are working hard. The fact is that sometimes you are just not measuring
up to the bar and need to be told to work harder in order to get what
you want. It is hard to accept the fact that you are not producing
enough. Listen carefully to this feedback only if it is coming from a
trusted advisor and accept it. Then get to work and improve the areas
where you need to work harder to beat your competition. Like any good
12-step program "Admittance is the first step" towards recovery.
3. Learn to ask questions instead of making statements. Take note
of your conversation. How much of the time are you asking questions and
how much of the time are you communicating by making statements? It is
more productive and much harder to communicate by asking questions of
other people in conversation. Ask people about their problems and allow
them to think about solutions by asking questions like "How have other
people solved this problem".
You learn more from asking questions than making statements in
conversation and dramatically improve your personal and professional
relationships. How much do you learn when I say "This is the way",
versus me asking "What is the way for you?"
4. Learn how you learn. Identify and study your learning style.
How do you learn fastest? Then apply your knowledge so that you learn
new skills most effectively with the least effort. Find a free test on
the internet to help you identify how you learn best, including
auditory, visual and kinesthetic learning styles.
Take mental notes of you how learn new information at work. Do you learn
when someone sends you an email, when you attend a training workshop, or
when you discuss it in a meeting after having studied the document?
Adapt your environment to fit your learning style and you will increase
your effectiveness. Seek ways to gather new information in your
preferred learning style.
5. Challenge basic assumptions. Who says that your version of
"Common Sense" is acceptable for other people? If it was "common sense",
then why is it so uncommon? Assumptions that you believe may be
completely wrong, but you won't change them until you challenge them.
For example, you may believe that you struggle financially because your
employer doesn't pay enough salary.
Yet you have never challenged the assumption that you have to be
employed in order to earn money. What if your basic assumption is faulty
and you have other opportunities to earn significantly more income? It
is hard to believe in a different assumption from what everyone in your
office, family and peer group believes in. Yet, the most personal growth
occurs when you challenge your basic assumptions you may be taking for
granted assumptions that are completely inaccurate, and limiting your
income as well as your dreams.
If you find that your current beliefs and assumptions are not providing
the results that you want, then you need to challenge them work with
your professional coach to identify these and create new assumptions and
beliefs that will serve you appropriately.
6. Renorm your standards and expectations. After your reach your
goals, and begin to live your dream life, you realize that your vision
is no longer inspiring you. You need to change your norms and create
larger visions with higher standards for yourself.
For example, when I wanted to publish my first book, I stood in awe of
other authors. Then after it was published, I needed to set higher
standards because the author of one book was no longer a motivation for
me. I needed to get used to the fact that I am also an author of one
book and set my sights on publishing five books as a larger target. Your
standards and expectations serve you well as you work towards goals.
However, after you have reached your goal, you need to create larger
visions and higher standards in order to make progress towards you next
goal.
It is hard to accept that your old standard and expectations are no
longer relevant. Although they feel comfortable, you must let go of your
old standards if you want to continue growing. Renorming and adaptation
are ongoing, continual processes.
There you have it. Making these personal changes is hard for you and
everyone that has ever attempted to make them. The payoff for making
these changes is a life of ever-increasing joy and higher levels of
experiences. The choice is yours make the changes or stay the same as
you are for the rest of your life.
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